How to Use Your Parent’s Life Insurance While They’re Still Alive
An Interview with Kayla on Discovering Accelerated Death Benefits
When someone we love receives a terminal diagnosis, the emotional toll is immense, and the financial burdens can be overwhelming. What many families don’t know is that in some cases, it’s possible to access life insurance benefits while the policyholder is still alive. This option, called Accelerated Death Benefits or Living Benefits, can provide much-needed financial relief during an already difficult time.
We sat down with Kayla, who learned about this underutilized resource after her mom’s cancer diagnosis, and she graciously shared her story to help others navigating similar circumstances.
Q: If you’re comfortable, can you share a little background about what your mom is going through?
Kayla:
Last August, my mom Jean was home watching a Mariners game when she suddenly had a seizure. She spent the next three days in the hospital in a coma-like state. Because she’s a nurse who worked in a hospital, we initially suspected something like meningitis. But a few days later, while I was on a work call, we got the results: it was a mass in her brain, specifically the language center.
She underwent a six-hour awake brain surgery. The day before my birthday, we found the diagnosis in her patient portal before the doctors had a chance to call: Stage 3 cancer. Just days later, her oncology team officially upgraded it to Stage 4.
Q: Where did you learn about Accelerated Death Benefits, or Living Benefits?
Kayla:
I found out by accident and a stroke of luck.
After her diagnosis, my mom was unable to return to work and was going to be medically separated from her company, so I called her HR department to see if there was any other long term disability or retirement support she may have access to before being separated. I ended up speaking with a woman whose son had also experienced a brain tumor. She was incredibly kind and went above and beyond to help. When she asked about my mom’s prognosis and I told her the doctors gave her one to two years, she paused.
Then she said, “I’m going to send you an email and give you my personal phone number. I’m also sending a list of things you need to do.”
One of the items on that list was to check her life insurance policy and see if she qualified for an accelerated benefit, meaning we might be able to access her policy funds while she’s still alive to help cover medical and caregiving expenses.
Q: What was the process like? Was it difficult? How long did it take?
Kayla:
Surprisingly, it was really straightforward. My mom’s policy is through MetLife. When I called, they warned me that the Advanced Benefit option was “very difficult to get approved,” which was intimidating.
But they sent me a 3-page packet. The most important part was a section that needed her doctor’s signature, confirming her terminal diagnosis and prognosis.
Within weeks, she was approved to access 80% of her life insurance policy while still alive.
Q: What was the process like? Was it difficult? How long did it take?
Kayla:
It’s been life-changing.
My parents were using their savings and financial support from my grandparents to pay for full-time caregiving staff. My mom is now paralyzed on her right side, and she needs assistance during the day when my dad is at work.
The funds have covered:
- Her caregiving team
- Necessary medical equipment
- A wheelchair-accessible van
That van means my mom can get out of the house to go to appointments, but also just to do normal things like get her nails done. That small piece of independence has made a huge impact on her quality of life.
Q: What advice would you give to someone exploring the option of accessing life insurance early to help a loved one?
Kayla:
Ask questions and keep asking.
If I hadn’t picked up the phone and asked, I never would’ve learned this was possible. Most people don’t know this benefit exists.
Policies vary. Some employers offer life insurance through providers like MetLife or Prudential, but the eligibility criteria and application processes can differ. Be specific in your questions and ask about “Accelerated Death Benefits” or “Living Benefits.”
You’ll likely need a prognosis letter from the doctor stating life expectancy. Some companies require a timeframe like 12 or 24 months or less to qualify.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed or assume you won’t qualify, but don’t let that stop you from trying. We were told it was a long shot, but we were approved quickly.
These funds can give your loved one comfort and dignity. For my mom, it meant being able to stay at home, with care, and experience little joys like a trip to the nail salon or riding in her van with the windows down.
Quick Facts:
Definition: An early payout of a portion of a life insurance policy to a terminally ill policyholder.
Eligibility: Usually requires a doctor’s written statement that the policyholder has a life expectancy of 12 to 24 months.
Payout amount: Often up to 50 to 90% of the policy’s death benefit, depending on the insurer.
Impact on final payout: Whatever is paid out early is subtracted from the death benefit your beneficiaries will receive later.
Final Thoughts from Kayla
It’s hard to face a terminal diagnosis. But this benefit allowed us to focus on my mom, not just her care, but her comfort and happiness. I want more families to know this is an option. If your loved one has a life insurance policy, pick up the phone and ask. It might make all the difference.
Jean and her husband celebrating 36 years of marriage atop Mailbox Peak in Washington. Together, they wrote love letters and tucked them into the summit mailbox, a beautiful ritual just one week before her first seizure revealed a brain mass.
Jean with Kayla and family, just one month after her first brain surgery
