After my parents died, I bought a home in an older neighborhood. It felt meant to be. The house was built in 1956, the year my mom was born, and my next door neighbors, Frank and Francis, quickly became like surrogate parents. Even down to needing plenty of IT help, just like my mom and dad did.
I never thought I would say this, but after losing my parents, I missed the calls that used to drive me crazy. The ones about their iPhone not ringing. The subtitles mysteriously turning on. The TV that “just stopped working.” When they were alive, those requests sometimes made me sigh. Now I would give anything to walk them through checking the little toggle on the side of their phone or adjusting the volume one more time.
These days, I provide Frank and Francis with IT support. Thankfully, I live next door. But what if you are helping your aging parents from a distance? Another state. Another time zone. Even another country.
There are some incredible tools that can make remote caregiving a little easier.
Television is so important for many older adults. If they are retired or less mobile, it becomes their main source of information and entertainment. Without it, the house can feel very quiet. Too quiet.
JubileeTV connects your phone directly to your loved one’s TV so you can control it remotely. You can fix settings, change the channel, and even start a video call with up to four people. No more squinting at a tiny phone screen to see the grandkids. For remote caregivers, it is a practical and surprisingly comforting solution. The service runs about $39 per month and, for many families, it is well worth it.
Remote computer access
Even the most tech savvy parents can struggle with computers. If you work in an office setting, you know how helpful it is when IT can remotely access your laptop and fix a problem in minutes. You can do something similar for your parents.
Chrome Remote Desktop allows you to securely access their computer using a shared code.
Quick Assist offers a similar feature for Windows users.
Both are free and relatively easy to set up. It turns a 45 minute phone call filled with “What do you see now?” into a five minute fix.
If you and your parents both use Apple devices, FaceTime now allows remote device control through screen sharing. Once screen sharing is active, you can request control of their phone, open apps, adjust settings, and help them navigate directly. It is one of those small technological miracles that can save everyone a lot of stress.
Helping your parents with technology can be frustrating. I understand. But here is a little wisdom from someone who no longer gets the “Can you help me with my TV?” phone calls.
Be patient.
These tools make things easier, but it is still hard to age. It is still hard to ask for help. One day, you may miss those calls more than you ever expected.
Thankfully, Frank and Francis keep me busy next door. Recently, Frank needed help with his printer because he absolutely had to print a photo of a seagull from his wedding anniversary trip with Francis. And honestly, that felt urgent. Some things are worth printing.
If you are caregiving from afar, know this. You are doing sacred work. Even when it is about subtitles. Even when it is about seagulls.
After setting up their new TV, Frank and Francis insisted on a steak dinner thank you.
Tech support has its perks.
